Excavation
by Friezaess
Summary: "But now, as I hold a razor in my hands for the first time in almost two years, I feel a sense of yearning. And who am I to resist?" Dark themes, morbid humour, and one angsty Duo.


_~* Excavation *~_  
  
  
[insert disclaimer here]  
  
  
  
I can't sleep. Again. Insomnia sucks. The bright red numbers '3:15' glare at me from my digital clock. Maybe there's something intresting to do around here other than staring into space for hours on end. I get out of bed and flick on the light, looking around my (rather messy) room in search of something that will hold my attention for a while. And then, under a pile of old manga... I find it.   
  
It.   
  
How long has it been since I've used one of these things? I guess I managed to stop when the war came to an end. Not because I wanted to, oh no. It was because too many people started asking too many questions. 'Duo, how did you get those cuts on your arm?' they'd ask. 'Where did those scars come from?' It was easy to pass them off as mere battle injuries when we were constantly fighting, but when the fighting came to an end, I ran out of excuses. So I forcefully managed to ween myself off the razors. Sometimes I still dig into the tender, scarred flesh of my arms with my nails, but goddamn, it's just not the same.  
  
Sometimes I get cravings for it, but they eventually pass. I go back to bottling things up. But now, as I hold a razor in my hands for the first time in almost two years, I feel a sense of yearning. And who am I to resist?  
  
I sit back down on my bed, razor in hand, and try to pry the plastic encasing away from the waiting blade. It doesn't work. Have these things gotten harder to open over the months, or am I just out of practice? After a bit of fishing around, I manage to find a pair of scissors. (I have lots of practical stuff in my room- one time I found a freakin' PLAYSTATION underneath all my junk.) I cut at the plastic, and manage to get the handle and some of the head off. But still, the razor refuses to leave its home. Maybe if I just try to... get this part off...  
  
NANI?!  
  
You've gotta be kidding me! I just sent the thing flying across my room! My face falls as I realize excavating it will be no small task- it's lost underneath all my stuff. Now let's see, I thought it went over in this direction somewhere. Damn, I should REALLY clean up my room.  
  
As I'm searching through papers, clothing, plushies, and a huge variety of other stuff that has somehow found refuge in my room over time, I hear a knock on the door.  
"Duo? Why is your light on? You need to be well rested for the mission."  
I roll my eyes. I thought when the war finished, maybe this guy would loosen up a bit. Damn Preventer work.  
"I'm not in the mood for soldier talk, Heero. I'll go to bed when I'm tired."  
"And when will that be? When you're in the middle of a crossfire?"  
"Fuck off..." I mutter softly so it would not reach his ears. The only problem is, I forgot one thing...  
"... Good night."  
... and that's the Perfect Soldier's perfect hearing. And I'm pretty sure I just offended him. I sigh. Life's a bitch.  
"Gomen," I whisper, even though he's long gone.  
  
Now I really need to find that razor.  
"You're an idiot, Duo," I muse to myself as I continue my search. "You're just a fucking annoyance who should DIE. Fucking BASTARD."  
When I find that silver saviour, I swear I'm gonna make up for all the time I've done without it.   
  
I'll cut until I no longer have the strength to cut.   
  
I'll bleed the Nile.   
  
But first...  
  
I need to clean up my room.  
  
  
_~*OWARI*~_  
  
Trowa: ... THAT was an ending?  
Friezaess: Well, yeah.  
Trowa: Do you have any idea what the words 'plot progression' mean?  
Friezaess: *rumages around to find dictionary*  
Trowa: ///.-;;  
Duo: Hey, at least she didn't KILL me in this one. I'm greatful for small mercies! And now for something to put the audience in a happy mood. *Whips out a cute lil' Heero plushie and makes it do the chicken dance*  
Friezaess: Do you mind?! You're ruining the mood!  
Duo: Aww... but... Heero plushie! Kawaiiness!   
Friezaess: *sigh*  
  
  
Anyways, this ficlet's based on a personal experience I had the other night. Fics be good for venting, ya know? Well, at any rate, none of you out there should be doing the kind of thing Duo did in this fan-fic, KK? 'Cos Friezaess loves ya and dunnit wanna see you get hurt! *glomps* ^_^  
  
Heero plushie sez: Review and I'll do the chicken dance for you! *big chibi eyes* 


End file.
